Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
