Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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