Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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