Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Randomize
