No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
