all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize