I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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