you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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