If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
