Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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