do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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