Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
And then my night got REAL pukey
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
