i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
