I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize