so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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