I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
