Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
