i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I need a beard to bite.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
