Sponge bath it is.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize