I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
