Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
How many fucks given?
0.12846
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
