Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
