At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
