he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
