i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize