There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
