i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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