Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize