I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
