remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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