Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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