Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
