Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
