I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
