He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
