I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
