they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
