You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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