When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
