I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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