are you still at the devil's house?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
