at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize