My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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