Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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