He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
