Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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