Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
