i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize