Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
