Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
