i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
