i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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