Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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