Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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