yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
