he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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