I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
