Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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