I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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