She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
A bitchslap is in order.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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